The Beheading of Mary and Joseph

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Even in these politically correct times, Nativity scenes are still a popular display piece for many homes. So when Marcy Darcy set out to win the neighborhood decorating contest she had to have a life-like size of the Virgin Mary and Joseph.

Knowing how much they mean to her, Bud and Kelly decide to stage a kidnapping of the holy family. Since Kelly wrote the ransom note, it is worded that they better pay or it’s “drapes” (instead of curtains) for them. Disguising herself on the phone (with a literal disguise) Kelly arranges for a drop. Jefferson demands she put the statues on the phone until Marcy angrily clubs him with it. But, as usual for anyone named Bundy, things don’t go as planned.

Driving with the statues sticking out of the car, they are beheaded once they drive through a tunnel. Since Bud and Kelly don’t show, Jefferson vows to hunt them down if it takes all the money his wife has.

Bud finally cries and confesses. Their punishment: Bud will stand in as Joseph and Kelly as Mary.

But then, something odd happens. For the first time since Married With Children’s inception, Peg actually bakes a gingerbread house of the Bundy home, and then decides to bake the whole neighborhood. Leave it to Peg to cook something and have it not be eaten.

However, once the neighborhood contest judges witness Peg’s art (complete with a telescope that a neighbor uses to watch Kelly shower), Peg is declared the winner. Proudly, she admits this is the first thing she’s one since she was crowned Ms. Teenage Wanker.

And Marcy gets second prize. A fruitcake.