“I hold God’s shoes”

Published on October 8, 2016

Many claimed to have seen God, but how many can say they also went into business with him?

After finding out his wife spent $2500 on a portrait of herself, Al Bundy drifted back in horror and fell out of his bedroom window. When he awoke, he told the story of how he met God. With his kids asking questions about the Almighty, Al says he couldn’t stop looking at his shoes. Gold plated with socks already stitched in.

Inspired by his vision, Al sets out to make a prototype, toiling for 40 days and 39 nights (he took time off to watch Planet of the D-Cups because God told him to). Dismissed as nonsense by Marcy, con man Jefferson can’t help but see the marketing potential to “reel in the suckers”.

Using Marcy’s money, Jefferson sets Al up on a few TV shows to promote God’s shoes.Appearing as a guest on the Scary Mary Show as well as a panelist on People to Laugh At, as well as trying to walk across Lake Michigan and spread the shoes to Canada, Al continues his holy mission until the bitter end.

Al nonetheless fails at another scheme, and even falls out of his window again. Unconscious, Al has another encounter with “God” and his shoes. It turns out that it is not God and merely another shoe salesman who played along with Al’s assumption. Admitting he himself failed with the shoes, he then pitches Al another idea. Shoe Horn O Plenty. A combination shoe store and burger joint. No word yet on any public appearances to promote this idea.

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