Al Bundy vs Big Bad Mama

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Al Bundy has had to do some tough things in life to get out of trouble. After Peg maxed out their credit cards, sold their TV, and spent their life savings in Las Vegas, he was forced to step into the wrestling ring to fight a GLOW (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling) girl. All he has to do is last 3 minutes in the ring, and he can win $10,000.

At first excited at this opportunity, he learns his opponent is Big Bad Mama, the quintessential shoe store customer of Al. Big, fat, and really, really mean. At first sight, Al runs from the ring in fear. Even the idea of $10,000 isn’t motivation enough (“that’s a dollar a pound). The only thing that can get him to step back in is the hope of getting back his TV.

As the match begins Big Bad Mama right away ignores the referee’s instruction of “no biting below the waste.” Body slamming the referee out of the ring, she proceeds to put Al in the Boston Crab, and slam his head against the turnbuckle 100 times.

Luckily for Al, it did take time for her to do all that. As he lay on the mat, the bell rings and the 3 minutes is up. Just as Al realizes he can’t move his legs, Big Bad Mama climbs the ropes to the turnbuckle. She then leaps down upon him with such fury, the crowd felt a wind.

Hence, even when Al Bundy wins, he still loses.